Neverending Suffering
by thekitofthekat
Summary: What if Bella was hiding something from Edward? A mysterious disease that has burdened her for her whole life? What happens when all is revealed, not is all as it seems in the town of Forks, Washington. Usual pairings. BxE Please R
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note; new story! well, basically last night I had this dream and I was Bella and Edward was with me (aka Twilight) but in the dream were girls I knew.. ANYWAY. **

**Interesting things happened in the dream that I decided to write down before I forgot them anyway. **

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, so don't sue me. Enjoy :) I shall only repost if I get enough reviews. I dont know if I want to continue this or just to make it a one-shot. Review and let me know. The song is 'Unintended - By Muse'**

* * *

You could be my unintended  
Choice to live my life extended  
You could be the one I'll always love  
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions  
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can  
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged  
All my dreams and all my balance  
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended  
Choice to live my life extended  
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can  
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can  
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

* * *

**BPOV**

I saw Edward. He was my life. My oxygen.

We were sitting in class. Because of our constant.. Talking, we had been positioned on opposite sides of the room, thanks to Mr Banner.

Edward was getting angry, we were doing a biology test and all the girls around him kept talking to him, trying to piss him off, trying to piss me off, well, it was working.

I was sitting next to a girl called Brittany. She was one of those types of people that went with the flow, and was a real stuck up ass when she wanted to be. She was blonde with blue eyes and nearly every guy ogled her, nearly.

Everyone was jealous of me and Edward, the girls would glare at me down the hallway, and sometimes I even caught some of the guys looking at me with jealousy, it scared me.

Edward was at breaking point; he accidentally crushed his pencil into dust, pure dust.

When the test was finished and the bell rung, I was about to go off to Edward before Brittany said to me, 'You are so lucky your with Edward, most girl's won't even whisper to him. I don't know why he likes you, your such a nerd.'

I yelled back, 'Bitch! I am not a f---ing nerd!'

'Sure.. Why don't you just go back on your meds? We all know why your away so often, why don't I go tell everyone about your disease?' She threateningly whispered.

Maybe I should clarify, Brittany and I used to be best friends. Apart from our obvious look differences, we were like twins, and we did everything together and knew everything about each other, including my medical condition. She was caring about it at first and never told anyone, but when high school came around, she was noticed as being pretty, and taken in by _them_.

Yes them, everyone has them; that group at school that believe they are above everyone else and treat others accordingly. Whose parents buy them cars when they are sixteen and have their life bought for them, yes them.

I whimpered, no one, _no one_, besides Brittany knew about it, behind me I heard Edward gasp, I should have realised the period finished ten minutes ago, and Edward had been behind me the whole time.

I did the only thing I ever did, I ran.

I ran, I did not know where to, I had to escape. I could not face him, this was the one part of my life I had hidden from him, what was I going to do?

I heard distant thuds behind me, it was Edward, he was going at a slightly more then human pace, but at this point, nothing mattered to me.

I ran the only place I knew, home. I saw the cruiser in the driveway; Charlie was home early, how was I going to get out of this one? I did not care.

I barged through the front door to see a shell shocked Charlie staring at me in astonishment, shock and confusion. Tears were pouring down my face, my brown eyes dull from the pain.

Charlie started at me incredulously, waiting for an explanation.

The only words I could manage were, 'Edward.. Disease.. KNOWS!' Before I ran upstairs to my room, locking my window on the way, I could not face him, at least not tonight.

I heard him outside, no matter how quiet he may be, I can always tell when it is Edward, I am attuned to him. I looked at my phone,

* * *

_13 missed calls _

_25 new messages_

_Sender: Edward Cullen_

I read the first text message, not bothering with the rest,

_To: Bella_

_From: Edward_

_.. Is it true? Why didn't you tell me? Please, talk to me. I love you._

_

* * *

_

I couldn't read anymore, I broke down crying on the side of my bed, banging my head against the headboard, trying to make sense of the situation, why is everything so stuffed up? I soon fell asleep, a restless broken sleep.

I woke up to see light, it was midday, why hadn't my alarm gone off? I saw a note by my bedside table and picked it up and read it,

* * *

_Bella,_

_I figured after yesterday you might not be up for school, I know its hard, but you have to get through it._

_I took the liberty of ordering in, an emotional Bella is a safety hazard in my opinion, so I left some pizza in the fridge, its not fancy, but I'm sure it'll do, and I bought some ice-cream as well, double chocolate, your favourite :) _

_I noticed you haven't been taking your medication, I know its not nice, but you need it. Don't forget you have a doctor's appointment in two days, what are you going to tell him?_

_I finish late, so you can either order in, or if you feel up to it, go to the Cullen's, I'm sure they will want to help, don't underestimate them._

_Dad._

_

* * *

_

Woah. I didn't know Charlie could get that deep, I felt a pang of guilt, I wasn't the only one suffering here, Charlie was hurt just looking at his daughter, I couldn't be like this anymore. I need to see Edward. I grudgingly got out of bed and got ready, and getting in my truck to go see the Cullen's, it was a sunny day, they would all be home.

When I arrived at his house. I took a big breath of air and walked up to the doorway, before I could knock the door swung open, revealing a very sympathetic looking Carlisle.

'Come in Bella. We were hoping you would come.'

I walked in and settled myself on the couch. I turned to Carlisle,

'Is Edward home?'

He looked at me sadly, 'No, he is out hunting, but he should be home any second, I called him telling him you were here.'

I sighed, 'Okay, well, I'd rather that when I tell my story that I only tell it once, I want to wait until everyone is here...'

'Bella?' I knew that voice. I sharply turned around to see a pain stricken Edward, what was I doing to him?

My voice started to break, 'H..Hi'. He was distant, I had hurt him, the pain in his eyes was prominent.

The room was instantly filled with all the members of the Cullen family,

Esme looked sad and sympathetic

Carlisle looked concerned

Alice looked worried

Jasper looked overwhelmed

Rosalie looked curious

Emmett looked confused

And Edward... he looked broken. A pang of guilt passed through my body.

'Edward, when I was born, there were complications, I was underweight, small, and next to dieing, I was later diagnosed with something called R.S.S, it basically takes over my life. I'm assuming you from Brittany about me not taking my medication? There is two reasons for that, one, I have been having my meds every single night of my existence since I was four years old, its depressing. 2. Its an injection, a painful injection which causes blood, I cant risk anything around you. I go the hospital every three months, and have been doing so since I was six months old, and all for an educated guess. I can't live this way.'

At this point, I was breaking down.

'Carlisle is a doctor, he can cure you.' Edward responded, pain stricken in his eyes.

'Thats the thing, there is no cure, im stuck like this forever.' I hung my head low, I couldnt reach his face, it was too hard.

'Well.. what happens with this disease? What's going to happen to you?'

I felt a sharp pain in my head before I collapsed, feeling a raging fire coarse through my body.

This was the end.

* * *

**Review? Oh, and by the way, I have R.S.S, it's not pleasent. My dream included Twilight and my own medical condition, except in this story the way Bella feels about the condition is exagerated just a tad. lol. Im not depressed and I dont collapse. lol.**

**10 reviews? I don't know where I'm going with this. -Kiara**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: So many people have told me to continue this story, I don't know how, but I will try. The reason I am reposting so soon is because I am at home sick and I decided that I shouldn't keep people waiting. Also, lots and lots of people have favourited, story alerted and so on, yet only few people have reviewed; This hurts. Obviously if people are story alerting etc. It means that they want to see how the story pans out, well to be honest, I can't do that unless I get the feedback from reviews. I am writing this chapter while I am in immense pain so I should hope that people return the favour by reviewing. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; only the plot for this story.**

* * *

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain  
We all have sorrow  
But if we are wise  
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong  
And I'll be your friend  
I'll help you carry on  
For it won't be long  
'Til I'm gonna need  
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride  
If I have things you need to borrow  
For no one can fill those of your needs  
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong  
And I'll be your friend  
I'll help you carry on  
For it won't be long  
'Til I'm gonna need  
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear  
That you can't carry  
I'm right up the road  
I'll share your load  
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand  
We all need somebody to lean on  
I just might have a problem that you'd understand  
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong  
And I'll be your friend  
I'll help you carry on  
For it won't be long  
Till I'm gonna need  
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...

* * *

**APOV**

_-Vision-_

How could I not have forseen this earlier? I could have prevented this, now.. all I can do is stand by and wait

I have to block Edward, there is no possibility that he sees this, time has to play its natural course. Oh Bella...

* * *

**EPOV**

She collapsed, I ran to her as fast as insanely possible, what had happened to her? I saw her screaming, although she was unconscious, then all of a sudden, her body fell limb, her heartbeat rapidly fading.

What was happening to her?

I turned to Carlisle; surely, he would know something... right?

He looked at me solemnly, 'She mentioned injections as her medication, did you ever actually smell the drug coming off of her?'

I thought long and hard before answering, 'I do not remember much, but all I remember is once after she went to have a 'human moment' I smelt something unusual coming off from her, not her usual scent.'

Something clicked in his mind, 'Oh dear, I'm guessing when she went off for this short time she took her medication, but Edward, tell me the absolute truth, before she went off, did you touch her hands, at all?'

'Well yes, but what has that got to do with anything…' I asked, confused.

He gasped, 'I think I know what has happened to Bella.'

Everyone stared, waiting for the answer.

He took a long, unnecessary breath before continuing,

'It is well known fact that all vampires have a cold, hard surface of skin, correct? Well that skin is coated in small and generally un-harmful layers of venom. Now normally, this would not matter, but after you touched her hands, some of the venom was transferred to her, she should have been fine. However, as she went to prepare the injection it is my theory that some of the venom passed on from her hand to the needle, ultimately injecting venom into her. I do not know the effects of small amount of venom, however I have concluded that Bella will regain consciousness soon, I hope. And even if she does, over the course of weeks, months possibly more, she is slowly turning into a vampire.'

We all stared, this could not be happening, was there a next to impossible chance I was dreaming? I looked around; everyone was in complete shock at this new revelation. Even Emmett understood the seriousness of the situation, for him, that was rare, really rare.

I could not help it, I broke down.

* * *

**BPOV**

All I could see was darkness, an endless void of time and space.

I was floating, not knowing where.

I heard muffled screams and cries, I tried to reach for them, but every time I got close, it faded away.

What had happened to me? Had I died? There were countless questions roaming through my head, but who could honestly answer them?

Then I heard _his_ voice, the velvet like voice that made me that much stronger, have that much more will to keep fighting this oblivion.

I fought the will to let go, to leave this existence, people were pulling me away, but I kept fighting it, that unconscious struggle for survival.

I felt a burning in my head, which slowly began to radiate itself quickly through my body, I screamed, but who was going to hear me? No one. My screams turned into silent whimpers.

The voices got stronger and my will got weaker, I did not know how long I could fight to stay in this life.

All I remember next was a deep hole, a muffled scream, and Edward.

* * *

**So that was chapter two, I know it wasn't long, but at the moment, I'm struggling to not go to bed where I should be. The song was 'Lean On Me-Bill Withers' I am now asking that if you want me to continue this story that you review properly, at least a sentence would be beneficial. Sorry if I'm sounding like an ass but I really need some ideas to go on with. I need at least 6 reviews before I continue. Thanks so much. Kiara xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: Chapter 3 :) Well here it is. When I was writing this, I was listening to a certain song that made me go... aww! Therefore, I just **_**had**_** to put it in for this chapter. **

**I know my story is a bit unusual, possibly confusing, if you have a question do not hesitate to review your question and I promise I will reply! The song for this chapter is 'Here with me – Dido' I suggest you listen to it! Whenever I choose a song for my chapters, I always listen to it heaps to make sure that it suits the situation, so hopefully you agree! I decided to not procrastinate writing this chapter due to writers block so ****_hope_ you like it. Without further ado, here is neverending suffering chapter three**

**

* * *

**

**BPOV**

I fell into an empty void, but I felt closer to Edward, as if he might be able to hear me, help me.

I heard faint singing, I put all my strength into listening to it, it was silk like, the best song I had heard in my life, I couldn't lose hope of losing Edward, I listened closely,

I didn't hear you leave

I wonder how am I still here

And I don't want to move a thing

It might change my memory

Oh I am what I am

I'll do what I want

But I can't hide

I won't go

I won't sleep

I can't breathe

Until you're resting here with me

I won't leave

I can't hide

I cannot be

Until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends

They might wake me from this dream

And I can't leave this bed

Risk forgetting all that's been

Oh I am what I am

I'll do what I want

But I can't hide

I won't go

I won't sleep

I can't breathe

Until you're resting here with me

I won't leave

I can't hide

I cannot be

Until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends

They might wake me from this dream

And I can't leave this bed

Risk forgetting all that's been

I whimpered quietly, that was the most beautiful song I had _ever_ heard, I knew now, I had to fight against this restless slumber, and life without Edward would be no life at all. I tried to talk, but I could not.

It was then that I remembered his words; _I cannot be, until your resting here with me_. That was it, all the strength I needed in those nine words, I yelled out, at the top of my lungs, _I love you Edward, forever._

I heard no response, all was lost, I lost Edward, and I had lost myself in the process. All hope was lost, I should just let go now, save myself the misery of a life without Edward.

That is when I heard it, the voice that saved me, that saved _us_.

'Bella?'

My heart leaped at the revelation, he heard me! He spoke again,

'Can you hear me? Bella it's going to be alright, _we_ will make it out of this, _together_.'

That was all I needed, I pushed through the invisible barrier stepping between Edward and me, I laughed at anything that tried to stop Edward and me, and nothing could stop us now.

I broke free; nothing in my life had ever felt so good, besides Edward of course. I gasped, the first breath of air I had taken in a while, I heard a sequence of gasps following. I started to move, how I loved this feeling, but something felt strange, something was not right. I felt somewhat stronger, it may have been my imagination, but I swore I felt stronger. What's more, I had a massive craving for meat. Raw meat. Go figure, probably some PMS thing no doubt. I focused my attention on the others around me; I saw Edward, his face somewhat between shock, love, and confusion. What was there to be confused about?

I felt somewhat refreshed, as if I had slept my whole life. I pulled myself up from the ground, much to Edward's dismay, hey! I am big enough to pick myself up when I am down, nothing can stop me.

I felt, lighter somewhat; I looked around to see the rest of the Cullen family, shock and confusion etched onto their perfect marble like faces. What was wrong? I was awake, wasn't I?

I was over the moon that I was awake and healthy and they were looking as if I was the walking dead! –no pun intended- I kept staring at them, waiting for some sort of explanation to their worried faces, heck, even Rosalie looked concerned, that had to mean _something_.

Edward was still in a frozen like state, why won't someone tell me what is going on? I looked to Carlisle, surely, he would tell me something, and he was the doctor for crying out loud!

That is when I saw it, my reflection, in the living room mirror, my eyes, they were black, ice cold black. I fainted, _what was HAPPENING to me?_

_

* * *

_

**EPOV**

I saw her faint, I snapped out of my trance to rush to her little body, grasping it, _attempting_ not to hurt her.

I was still somewhat in my trance, _I had caused this_; just touching her had made her more sick as the days wore on.

Carlisle smiled reassuringly at me,

'She only fainted due to shock, she will wake soon, take her home, Charlie must be worried, stay with her if you must but make sure Charlie knows she is alright, if you could even call her that.'

* * *

**APOV**

_-Vision-_

.God.

I simply _have_ to block Edward out on this one, this one is too rich. Oh! Happy days, that reminds me of a song that I sing that frustrates Edward to death, I might sing that one, _plus_, I believe it suits this wonderful, joyous, splendorous, momentous, okay I'll shut up now.

I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom for me and you

And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces of people going by

I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do

They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll never know

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

Oh! Happy days were upon us!

* * *

**EPOV**

_What a wonderful world by Louis Armstrong?_ Alice was hiding something from me, but what?

* * *

**BPOV**

I woke up to find myself in my own bed, Edward close by.

I was shocked, if anything, Edward had become more beautiful by the minute.

He was instantly by my side, checking all my vitals to see if I was all right, I was, a monkey could tell you that, but Edward being Edward... Well you get the picture.

I kissed him gently on the lips to reassure him that I was more then capable of moving by myself, he tried to end the kiss, before it became something more, typical Edward.

I wish once, just once, that he would do as I said, not trying to be the superhero. I wish that I could read _his_ mind that would be the answer to all my questions.

Flashes ran across my mind, random nonsense, words jumbling, I jumped back, scared at this revelation. I was scared, it hurt my head, Edward was next to me again within a second, thinking he might have hurt me during the kiss, silly Edward, only he would think that he hurt me by kissing me.

_I really hope she is all right. I still have to fill her in on the things that we deciphered about her condition when she was unconscious._

'Fill me in on _what_ things Edward Anthony Masen Cullen?' I asked, my impatience going into overdrive, he should know better then to keep things from me, bad Bella came out when that happened, and he knew it.

He looked flabbergasted, he stuttered, 'How did you? But... What?'

I stared him incredulously; Edward Cullen was playing dumb with me? So not happening, 'I heard you! Do not play dumb with me, your exact words were, 'I really hope she is all right. I still have to fill her in on the things that we deciphered about her condition when she was unconscious.'

If Edward could faint, now would be the time, he remained quiet for what seemed an eternity before replying, 'Bella, I thought those things, I never once spoke them, ever.'

Oh my god, I can read minds, what _really_ is happening to me?

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**Okay, so that was chapter three, wow I knew I was not expecting her to read minds, since I basically made this up as I went along. Sorry if you did not like this chapter, I did not know how to continue, sure, I had a plot, but I had writers block, so once again, if you do not like it, I am immensely sorry! I added in the song 'What a wonderful world – Louis Armstrong' later on so there is the mention for that... I am asking for ten reviews before I continue, and that would mean that my review count would be at twenty, that way when I have that many reviews, I have had time to make an awesome next chapter! Reviews are like candy; you can never get enough! –Kiara xxx**


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